Why Anger?
And the growth behind it.
Photo by: Succo. Pixabay, October, 2016
Have you ever found yourself angry about something, and you don’t know why?
Some things are obvious, Someone:
Stole from you.
Lied to you.
Disrespected you (or those you love).
Broke your heart.
As a Momma Bear of five I get it, and for a very long time, “mess with my family, and I might get very passionate about my response” could have been my motto.
As someone who came from a long line of fighters – I can still feel my “passionate response” rising up at times (though I do believe there is a time for “holy anger,” and that is not what I’m referring to now).
Years of therapy, inner healing, and the goodness of God has brought me far from that traumatic past that produced an angry, emotional, stereotypical teenager of the 90’s, and years later, the woman who thought every battle was hers to fight.
Having great mentors, and later becoming a coach myself, has allowed me to walk through that slow and difficult space of struggling to find the why behind bad habits, and driving emotions – to creating better habits, founded on better emotions and truth, allowing breakthrough in passion and purpose.
All this while realizing we should show ourselves some grace, after all we are human beings – imperfect, fallible, and yet uniquely and wonderfully made.
(There is truly no one out there just like you… or the person next to you)!
What I’m realizing in my more mature years (as I’m sure many of you are) is that more often than not, when we respond to someone with immediate, passionate, angry defense (walls up) – it has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with us.
They’ve hit an exposed area, a place festering for potentially years, under the surface, causing an infection only noticed when revealed. What they said might be awful, even evil in nature…
but our response, or lack thereof matters.
What causes some to brush offense away with ease, and others to stew on it for days?
I wish I could say that I’ve attained perfect peace 24/7 on my own, but that simply will never be true – I am only promised perfect peace when my imagination is consumed with Him.
Isaiah 26:3 Perfect, absolute peace surrounds those whose imaginations are consumed with you; they confidently trust in you. (TPT)
What separates those who react, from those who respond – could it be tied to imagination?
What are we thinking (dwelling or existing on) daily? Our thoughts become our words, our self-talk, and even what we speak over those around us.
Oddly enough, at times like this I’m often reminded of that old saying “We are what we eat”. What are we consuming?
Are we on social media, or mainstream media so much that the only narrative playing in our minds is that of division and fear? Do we then find our entire week being ruined by a nasty comment on our feed, or an inconsiderate action?
Or, do we recognize that what we said or did, (if it was kind, loving, and true), and at times even who we are - has struck a chord, or exposed a wound?
This morning, while having coffee with Jesus, there was a knowing that sometimes we are simply on the right track - exposing a lie of the enemy, and he’s spitting mad.
And you know what? I couldn’t be happier about that.
What we also must recognize, is that the focus of our frustration is also a fallible human being and deserving of grace. They are also oftentimes someone who at some point in their life was deeply wounded, and likely infected with anger.
(Please hear my heart when I say this, and know that I do not condone abuse of any kind. We are meant to do life with people, we are meant to love as Christ loved, but that does not mean we enter into, or stay in close relationships with people who abuse us).
Today, I am specifically referring to people we have not allowed into our inner circle of trust – random people on social media, people at work, people who we might run into at the grocery store. People God loves deeply, those who are difficult, those who try our patience, and those He calls us to also love.
These same people can be gift-givers, who at times expose things we have yet to uncover about ourselves, things that lead to healing and peace – should we choose to allow it.
Today, I choose peace and I pray you will too.
-With Love