Finding Joy in Letting Go
And getting out of the driver's seat
Full Speed Ahead
Many of you are familiar with the old saying, “Jesus, take the wheel.” It’s a phrase we often roll out when things start getting shaky, or feel a bit out of control. We breathe a sigh of relief knowing that even when the road feels slick or unsteady beneath us, He’s got us.
I don’t know about you, but there have been far too many times in my own life when I didn’t actually hand over the wheel until I was already driving full speed in the wrong direction, or worse, completely off the road and stuck in a ditch.
Why do we often wait until things are out of control to let go?
We hold on with a white-knuckled grip, convinced that if we just turn the wheel hard enough, analyze the map long enough, or push that gas pedal a little harder, we can correct our own course, and reach our destination at the time we feel is best. We often stretch ourselves to the point of breaking, pulled towards a thousand detours by worry, trying to manufacture a logical destination, limited by our own strength.
“Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ.” — Philippians 4:6-7 (TPT)
The other day, I was having one of those spontaneous, afternoon praise-and-worship jam sessions in my office. You know, the kind where you’re belting out pure, joyous praise and your heart is so thankful and wide open. It’s often in moments like that that I hear from God, and it was exactly then that I felt prompted to tune into a podcast. So, as directed, I searched for Proverbs 31, clicked on The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast, and sat down to listen as I prepared the draft of my next Substack article.
God said, “No…you need to pay attention,” so I paused, looked up from my laptop, and listened closely. God is so gracious and knows us so well.
The guest speaker was a pastor’s wife and author, Dr. Sharon Hodde Miller, and she began to describe her personal journey through what, at the time, she believed was a battle with insecurity. As I listened, it hit so incredibly close to home, mirroring chapters of my own story. She then began to dismantle the way the world often looks at our lack of confidence.
So often, we are told that our insecurities stem entirely from low self-esteem. Now, to be clear, there are absolutely cases where the root cause is deeply painful past hurts, trauma, and abuse that require profound heart work, counseling, and dedicated therapy to heal; she addressed that.
But what happens after the deep inner healing and heart work is done? That part of the journey, when you have gone through counseling, you possess a healthy dose of natural confidence, and yet you still feel completely unable to do what you are being called to do?
When the thing is not the thing
Dr. Miller discovered that for her, when all the positive self-talk in the world failed to move the needle, it wasn’t a self-esteem issue at all. It was a self-focus issue. Her insecurity wasn’t born out of thinking too poorly of herself; it was born out of thinking too much about herself—focusing entirely on her own ability to bear her own burdens, to do it all in her own strength.
In a culture that relentlessly demands we look inward, obsess over self, and find the answers within, it was incredibly refreshing to hear someone take a deeper dive into what true freedom looks like. Her book, Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It’s Not About You, highlights a truth we desperately need to hear: when we realize this has nothing to do with us and everything to do with Him, the pressure evaporates. He is the only one who is more than able.
It’s not about Me
As the podcast ended, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the very first day of this 31-day journey of finding joy here on Substack. I remember looking down at my messy piles of notes, staring at the screen, and feeling this sudden wave of intimidation wash over me. I had never gone live like this before. The vulnerability and responsibility of representing and honoring Him without a theological degree felt massive.
I found myself asking God, a bit frantically, “How am I going to pull this all together? I mean, I’m not a speaker or an influencer; I stumble over my words. I don’t know all there is to know; I’m not a preacher, teacher, or scholar...” Sound familiar? I’m reminded of Moses and countless others who have gone before us and felt exactly like this.
Immediately, with a gentle yet absolute authority that silenced every racing thought, He answered back: “You’re not. I AM!”
At that moment, every external noise, every sound but His voice, was silenced. Even though I “knew” this to be true, my flesh was still trying to figure out the logistics.
Whenever God asks us to take a step that is bigger than our natural abilities, something we don’t feel ready for, our flesh gets anxious. But the gap between our ability and His calling is exactly where growth happens. It’s where the uncomfortable, beautiful parts of stretching and pruning take place. It’s where obedience and trust create a perfect environment for Him to show up.
There are only a few times in my life when I have heard the voice of the Lord with such immediate, undeniable clarity. So, I knew there was zero room for questioning. When that realization hit me, there was such an incredible overflow of joy. It felt like a physical weight being lifted off my shoulders.
“A person may have many ideas concerning God’s plan for his life, but only the designs of God’s purpose will succeed in the end.” — Proverbs 19:21 (TPT)
When we are weak or feel completely inadequate, that is precisely where His strength becomes perfectly visible. We don’t need to know what is on the other side of the fold in the map. We don’t need to understand every single stop along the way, and we can stop asking “Are we there yet?”
We simply need to trust that His plans for us are good, because He is so good! Now, we might not be parting the Red Sea, but when He asks us to do something, there is always a good reason. Somebody out there is waiting for us to stop acting like this is about us and focus on the one who it’s always been about, Him.
You might also be familiar with the old cliché, “Another level, another devil.” But I’ve come to see it differently lately: I believe that every new level requires a deeper level of surrender. It demands a more intimate, unshakeable foundation in our relationship with Him, built entirely on trust.
During these seasons of pruning, when God is digging down deep in the soil to establish our foundations, He isn’t punishing us—He is ensuring we are structurally sound and equipped for what is to come. We often think of spiritual warfare as a fierce, active battle we have to fight in our own might, but sometimes the highest form of spiritual warfare is simply letting go. It’s stepping back, letting Him fight for us, and allowing Him to use us exactly as He wishes, regardless of how that looks to anyone else.
The Enemy’s primary strategy is always to turn our eyes inward. If he can keep us trapped in self-focus and isolated in our own minds, he can keep us anxious about how things will ‘logically’ happen, forcing us to rely on our own strength. He also often pairs this with isolation, convincing us that we must be wise in our own minds. He desires to cut us off from the very people God has intentionally placed in our lives to encourage us, speak truth over us, hold us accountable, and remind us to keep our eyes squarely on the Father.
Today, I hope you’ll join me in choosing to lay down the heavy burden of trying to be our own facilitators, our own protectors, and our own forecasters. Let us find joy in the empty hands of surrender.
When we obediently leave the wheel entirely in His hands, we discover that He isn’t some distant deity; He is a good, faithful Father who invites us into an abundant life through a relationship built on trust and walking with Him in rest, not in striving. He is doing the heavy lifting behind the scenes, and He is more than enough.
What areas are you holding onto with a white-knuckled grip today? Let’s talk about what it looks like to lay those down in the comments below.
You can also tune in to Finding Joy in Letting Go tomorrow - here on Substack live or via replay and by listening to the What Endures Podcast on Spotify.